like when you flick an ash off your cigarette and your smoke slips and goes flying into a puddle. he was tired. passed out. his face belied his age, but an odd swath of grey hair gave him away. i made myself some noodles and brought an extra pack for him. when he woke up, i introduced myself. have you eaten? he gave me a chinese bow. i dont know what ethnic group he belongs to, but hes been to asia. some people think im chinese. he said nope and i showed him the noodles. i started to get some water and he said dry noodles are just fine, and started eating. then he wanted to know if i wanted some pizza. he has money. save your money for breakfast, i told him. we were blocking up the alley to keep the riffraff out. fine, he said. got any bread? we had bread. "stackers" pitched in some peanut butter, soup, and crackers. he told us about giant bees that kill honey bees by the thousands. he likes soda. we have plenty of tap water but he goes for soda like a wino with the jitters. he drank it down so fast that his stomach tried to explode. he may be rusted but hes still made of iron. we slept. morning came and he was snoring to the dawn. most of us were gone. quiet mannered, asking for this and that if it wasnt in his small, duffle, i gotta wonder how he got homeless. but theres something in his mannerisms that says he has issues. the way he drifts off subject... i noticed an old leather manicure case. looks like something youd find in an antiqe shop, i said. its my grandfathers. its all i have left of him, he says. got family around here? i ask. i gave them all the heave-ho, he replied. then he leaves. not very far. he just sits out on the street staring into space. and like most people who ignore us, i cant stop. i got things to do. the irony.

When i was younger i might have been happy to try living in the wilderness with a survival knife. But i never really thought it was necessary to actually go do it. Its become increasingly illegal in most places to live off the land. You have to be particularly talented to do it alone. Now that im older im not very confident that i could, since im not paced for that hardy lifestyle. Most people probably didnt make it much longer than my age owing to common health problems that have no remedy out there. Good social networking in the wild is almost necessary for survival. But i hear that hikers and such are found eventually, often scattered by critters. This is not a majority of people who try to rough it, but its a lesson of how rough things actually can be out there. I once overheard some people giving an account of how some of them were attacked by large bears. Not all of them made it. Bears arent the only deadly critters one may have the misfortune to run into. Its best to be well armed and many if youre planning on going farther into the bush than the local KOA, but not always necessary.

Living in the wilderness is one of the most "pays your dues and takes your chances" bets a person can make. If you ever decide to do it, study it hard and long from every angle. it really is "survival of the fittest".

How do they pick ppl like me for jury duty? The only thing I can think of is since I've been around for a while ive managed to get a mailing address or two, a voters registration card, and a few other things. So i got drafted by the courts again. This time it was federal court. Downtown isnt very close to my alley. It's a $7 round trip. I used up my deferrals and wouldnt you know it? The day im supposed to call in, im in the doctors office with a horrible pain. The doctor writes a simple excuse, i go get meds, and call the jury room. They say, "come in next monday and that slip better say cancer". As it was, the doctor had cancer on his mind. But it didnt turn out to be that. It was just some nondescript infection and pulled muscles. So my travel alarm wakes me up 4AM and i read the news, have my favorite makeshift breakfast, spruce up a bit and stand by the bus stop. Here comes the downtown express! There goes the downtown express!! They dont pick up at just any bus stop, you know. Well you know now. So i skitter on up to the next one that has the right bus name on it. Buku bux, ze vu plait. I have a nice long ride while wondering why i cant get past page 2 on twitter. There are 3 things i dont like about long bus rides: having to fart, wanting a smoke, and needing to pee. Are you with me? I dont blame you if you'd rather not be.

It didnt take me long to find the magistrate. Oh how i love the ornate buildings and fixtures of the surrounding area. Sadly, there was also dereliction upon dereliction. While many ancient buildings were renovated, some were still just boarded up. And there were ppl several times worse off than i am now. I know their suffering. My heart broke as I saw a man surrounded by bags struggling not to fall asleep, like one being crucified. He resembled someone who helped me out once. I really wish i were in a position to return the favor. My God its an awful thing to see.

The security ppl at the courthouse were friendly and courteous. I got upstairs and couldnt wait to show the clerk my doctors excuse and rattle them about that cancer statement. "I'll be right with you," she said, and disappeared never to return. other clerks came out and said that its too late, we must attend orientation and come back. The cell signal was weak. Wifi? Two seconds on and two seconds off. I was later told it only works in some tiny corner. Not much chance of tweeting out this trial! There were two tv screens for the podium. What i couldnt understand is why they were just to the right and left of the podium instead of facing those odd corners where ppl couldnt possibly see the podium. But hey! Im just a stoopid beggar. During orientation, they mentioned groups who were ineligable, groups who believed they couldnt fulfill their jury service, and the group thats ready to do their duty. I opted for group #2.

There was quite a crowd in my group. We waited outside the magistrates door, guessing philosophizing, hoping for redemption. It was like slolem. we'd stand to either side as the person came out of the courtroom walking past us while our heads turned to see whether they turned right to freedom or left to jury duty. Much to our surprise, many were turning right today. Many of those were getting a slight reprieve though. They had to come back. I must have seemed a little too interesting. I was among the last. The magistrate tried to sell me on the $40 a day. I get little for what I do, but I have a way of generating more for others too. If im gone for a while, people will call in their markers and that $40 will be nothing.

Dont try this if you get called folks. The particulars are mine and will stay mine. Let's just say it gave me enough time to take some pretty pictures and feel glad about what im stuck with for a while.

Much of the time, people in public are going about their business and pretty much oblivious to anything else. But have you ever stopped and looked at people around you just to see what's going on? Maybe it's just me, but there often seems to be people who just plain look out of place. Now, given that its a public place, i suppose that looking out of place must take some special talent. A flashy dresser may catch your eye, but that doesnt make them look out of place. Tatterdemalion people (clothes gone to seed) are getting pretty commonplace. One thing that gets me are middle aged ladies and those retro hairdos. I dont know what their stylist was thinking, but their greatest triumph was to get paid for making someone sit through that mess long enough to pile up their hair in such blobby masses. Maybe they were paying to get out? Not time after time!

And then there are people who dont make good clothes horses. I'm one of them. But that just sticks out a bit. There are people who for some reason just seem out of place. Its not the bright clothes. Thats common enough. Its not a bad fit, humorous as it seems. Its not like theyre white guys doing the pimp roll with their hands down their pants (yech!). I cant put my finger on it yet! [deliberate tombstone] Theres something about some people that makes me want to walk up to them and ask, "what planet are you from?" I live in a county that is a worldwide gateway to practically ever ethnic group, language and culture in the world. So it wouldnt likely surprise me to see anyone dressed in any costume or style, speaking any language. Some people sort of give me the creeps though. If you see some big redhead wearing a red canvas robe and strutting around, you just know they have an agenda of some sort. But hey! Its california!

No, they come in all shapes and sizes and i dont know how to describe what makes them look out of place! Its not the haircut or the hairdo, the duds or the cruds. But just looking at them i want to scream, "THATS NOT YOU!" Do you think theyd believe me?

That's what it sounds like to some ppl. Statistics say that im likely to die before i hit the big win. The way the economy is going, i wonder if the payouts will live longer than the winner. But every day i daydream about what i would be doing if i won the lotto. Please understand, i only put a couple of dollars on a game. Its pointless to do otherwise. The winners ive read about who go for it usually win with the same numbers theyve been playing all along, or they just use a quickpick. If you could buy $1,000,000 worth of numbers, excluding the error factor, the odds would still be better on a craps table. But you cant win $1,000,000 in a single throw with a couple of bucks on a craps table.

I like to ask ppl what theyd do with the money. The answer is usually a new car, a house, a sports car, a mansion, a vacation, retirement, some charity... Most of these ppl have families, so its about being more the the monarch in the family, at least as providers go. Some tell me quite frankly that theyd party their lives away. I always thought that would get old quick. Maybe they dont realize that some folks they met are professionals. They always show up at parties because they know how to make money there.

I read about lotto winners. Mostly the bad stuff about what not to do. That story about the guy who committed suicide because the one time he forgot to buy a ticket was the time he would have hit the big time? Its an urban legend. The real story is that some guy tried to get sympathy at the bar and those who knew him knew the numbers didnt match up. The jackpot wasnt even a "set for life" amount. It was just a few hundred thousand. People looked at the numbers he usually played and told him he wouldnt have won. He had debts. So... The saddest story was about the winner who was bending over backwards to make everybody happy. He was the aspiring southern gentleman who worked hard all of his life. He fended for a very extended family, his church included. So while his church was sending him every needy person in surrounding counties and the world was showing up at his doorstep to shake his hand and ask him a favor, he noticed that his money was going WAY TOO FAST. So he called a meeting of his significant others and broke the news that he was pulling in the reins and pulling down the shutters; the new BUDGET was in town. Immediately people started arguing about who was going to get what out of what was left of the guys money. They completely ignored him as he spoke. So he got up, walked out, hopped in his pickup, reserved a room at a nice cowboy hotel, went to a dinner show at a nice cowboy steak house, went back upstairs in that nice cowboy hotel, and blew his brains out. A little lesson about the best of intentions.

None the less, i have a unique dream. If i could stay anonymous enough, i would walk the streets and see if i could do for others what i sometimes wish ppl would do for me. Reality says that at some points its not very likely. But hey. if i think im worth it, wouldnt it be worth a try?

There are many places where things just seem to disappear no matter who you trust or what to accept. While theres no sure way to prevent theft, here are a few potential bafflers:

When you know someone might want something you dont want to give, place an old used nonfunctioning version in casual plain view to see if it disappears or get messed with. Items i use include empty cigarette packs, old fone chargers that stopped working, etc. They might even b seen with it. In the event you dont have unusable versions, leave a cigarette out to see if it disappears, for instance.

Money is one of those things that cause greater determination among thieves. Leave a small amount hidden in a more obvious place and if theyre in a hurry they might think they got your stash.

There are all kinds of things this kind of trick works with if you need to keep stuff handy but someone is taking it. Keep something where ppl will find it if they look and bury the rest deep somewhere else nearby. Never show anyone your real hidey hole. Never.

oh hell. i dunno why i picked that title. something someone wrote about this being the month of fevers and cleaning, i suppose. times r gettin hard for some of us. we dont all have pensions and govt checks. we fell thru the cracks. some of the people who do are getting cut off or cut back for various reasons. and folks are gettin pretty crabby. there are freinds of ours we dont see anymore because the economy ate them. others wanna oust us and take our place. fortunately its not so ez to do. but theres a price to pay for having an oasis in the middle of hell. its like tartarus. you reach but security is just beyond your finger tips. you push but just when you thought you had it licked, the big rock rolls to the side and back down the hill. you plot and ponder while the earth shakes and an inescapeable boulder wobbles overhead. that three headed dog likes to eat too. so i guess i picked the right title.

Im reading a lot of hoopla after Obama is inaugurated. I was up late last night so I slept thru it. I just missed it. Im not very political. I still think that the billions of bailout dollars should go to the poorest. The rich will end up with it anyway. What with rich ppl getting golden parachutes and quarter million dollar health spa visits with the bailout funds, why should anyone care what the poorest would do with it? WE DONT EVEN RATE CHOPPED LIVER???!!! So hello, Mr. New President. If its time to grow up and move on, dont you think its time to do things right? Yeah, I got the part abt the greedy. But working until our hands are raw wasnt abt vision. It was abt survival. And you wont get that from us if it dont pay the bills. We need an economy where I can walk in off the street, get hired, get a nice place to live, and have what I need to make life livable. That means affordability for all. ALL. Once we can do that in America, we can do it elsewhere, instead of ppl from elsewhere showing us how to be too cheap to keep.

Today was the 12th day of xmas & the last holiday of the xmas season for most ppl. Some of us arent so happy during the holidays. Im one of them. I didnt post because i dont wanna ruin the magic 4 anyone. Grumpus is close behind santa & im not getting a good start so far this yr. I hope yours are better. & remember, when it comes down 2 it, every day could be xmas or thanksgiving anyhow. now get back to work!

In late november people travel far & wide to gather around a turkey with freinds and family. In many cases some idiot shows up whose sole agenda seems to be to make everybody else more miserable than themself. Thats not the only reason to question the holiday. Thanksgiving is one of several holidays that comes with more hoopla than historical provenance. If i recall correctly, the tribe that attended the first thanksgiving considered wiping The pilgrims out but were dissuaded. Later the tribe was wiped out, thanks in part to subsequent waves of pilgrims who showed little tolerance towards the tribe's persistent lifestyle.

It seems that every year there is some group on the news protesting how thanksgiving is traditionally held. But the most thoughtful one ive noticed was put on by an inter-tribal comittee. They asked why people are going through hell and high water to stuff themselves and get drunk while so many others languish. You call this thanking your Creator?

Lately we see celebrities volunteering at mass feeds held the day before thanksgiving so the celebrities can brag about it at their homes or fetes the day after.

No matter what you can afford to do for this holiday, even if youre stuck alone with water and crackers, be thankful. Its perfectly normal for people to want better than what they have, no matter how much or little. But while many are moaning at how The turkey came out or what wine was served, others are dying for lack of whatever they need. Be thankful it isnt you. It could be. Believe it or not. Help others if you can. If you cant, you cant. But BE THANKFUL and you can be happy.